Day 4 - Feel The Future Dissolve in a Moment

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it until your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

-Naomi Shihab Nye

The hubs and I have both been pretty frustrated with our current situation, him working almost two hours away which keeps us living apart for the time being with the exception of one or two days during the week when he's off. The frustration on my end has turned into this festering anger that simmers inside of me, eating away, which I hate, but can't seem to help these days. In turn, I lash out at him quite a bit, something that I'm really trying to work on. Joyce Meyer, an evangelist primarily for women, always says in her audio sets that you must do certain things, even if you don't want to or feel like it if you're desire is to truly change. For example, she says you have to "[fill in the blank] on purpose," in this case for me the blank would be filled with love, or perhaps be kind, in relation to the hubs. I toyed with my thoughts on this mini-blog this morning about whether or not I wanted to "dedicate" it to him and I came to the conclusion that if I don't adhere to Joyce's advice to do certain things on purpose, the anger is going to take full possession of me and I'd prefer to be rid of it as quickly as possible.


So, I was looking at my orchids this morning, the ones the hubs got me the day I was released from the hospital after having Wyatt--yes, I've managed to keep them alive this long--and I started thinking about all the thoughtful things he does for me. Those sweet, small things that most women only dream for their husbands to do, mine does on a regular basis. I'm very lucky and I don't tell or show him enough how much I sincerely appreciate him and love him. ♥


Were they ever a good match?
These two.
After all, they spoke two entirely different languages, if you know what I mean.
Hootie and the Blowfish said it best, they "come from different worlds."
Did they ever just stop and say,
"I can't understand a word you're saying.
A-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!"